That Way Madness Lie
by PsychicDreams
Summary: Yuuko sends Watanuki to fetch a painting she has spent weeks bargaining for, but the owner of the painting refuses to give it up until he and Doumeki answer three riddles correctly.


_"By the way, Watanuki. He's mad, so be careful. I would suggest taking Doumeki-kun."_

Watanuki wasn't entirely certain what his boss meant, but this time he didn't grumble about bringing along the stupid archer. After all, if he had to deal with an angry, spiritual person, he'd rather have the strongest of the pair there to ward off the blows. And really, who _wouldn't_ be angry when dealing with Yuuko? She could try the patience of a saint, as the saying went.

Which was why he was currently stewing and fussing as he waited outside in the cold for Doumeki. It had seemed to warm up lately, only to plunge right back down into the icy grip of winter yet again. He shivered, drawing his jacket in closer to his body. He had worn the warmest clothes he owned for this annoying little venture.

"Let's go."

It was dark out, like the many multitude of times he'd ever done a job for Yuuko. As he had learned from his own personal experiences, while spirits were not generally inhibited by daylight, they were a lot that only came out at night. He particularly hated nighttime spirits because they were more powerful and creepifying than the ones during the day.

"What are we doing tonight?"

"Yuuko-san wants a painting, but the owner won't give it up to her. After she talked to him awhile more, he finally said that he would let her have it, but someone had to come pick it up," he finished resentfully and shoved his gloved hands in his pockets as he glowered at the boy next to him.

"You're that someone?"

"Who _else_ would it be, moron?! Yuuko-san wouldn't dare lift her little finger to do anything if I was there and could do it instead! She's lazy, that's all she is!"

Doumeki had no doubt tuned out Watanuki's rant, but the bespectacled boy didn't really care. He always knew the moment his audience stopped listening, but that had never deterred him from speaking his mind about _exactly_ what was bothering him.

The wind had a terrible chill to it that seemed to seep through his clothes and no amount of walking kept him from shivering. Even his stage-worthy, exaggerated gestures did little to help and he was glad enough to see the house come into view. He blinked several times, as if not quite sure it _was_ a house.

It seemed as if it were made entirely of pieces of other things. Everything looked a little ramshackle, it didn't seem as if a single piece of the roofing job was the same as any other next to it, much like how no two snowflakes were the same. Every window was boarded up and the door looked a little rusty and off its hinges.

Despite the appearance, Watanuki could neither see nor feel a single thing supernatural about it. That did not, however, keep him from backing up a pace or two, consequently into Doumeki. The place just _creeped him out_.

"You see something I don't?" A hand touched his shoulder reassuringly.

"No…I just…" Realizing he was basically cowering against Doumeki, seeking a strange sort of comfort, he jerked away and steeled his spine. _Come on, Kimihiro. You've done other creepy stuff before, worse than this! I mean, it's not even supernatural or anything, it just looks…creepy. So get it together before he laughs at you._

"Let's get this over with," he stated firmly, sending a piercing, suspicious glance at his companion and only receiving a calm stare in response.

Almost immediately after he'd knocked, the door was flung open. Despite no one being present, Watanuki stepped inside. _Okay, doors opening on their own, no big deal. Seen it before…I think…no need to panic, so **no panicking**._

There was laughter that sent chills down his spine and it seemed to hit all the high notes and then go down for the low notes and back up, just like a wave. He automatically searched for the source and it was there, sitting at the halfway point in the rickety and discolored stairs. Which didn't make sense to him because when he'd looked at the house outside, it didn't look like a split-level.

"Are you…Tsuyoshi-san?" he faltered.

"Yes, yes, yes, that's me," the man replied and he gulped. That voice was just as creepy as the rest of his mismatched house. It bordered on high pitched, at first, he thought, but then it would swing to another pitch entirely and leave him confused. What did not change was the speed or tone. He talked almost too fast and there was a strange glint in his eyes.

"You must be Yuuko's little pets!" Tsuyoshi crowed and bounded down the stairs three at a time in an instant. It was like, first he was there and the next he wasn't. Up close, Watanuki couldn't help backing into Doumeki yet again, but this time he most definitely did it for protection.

Tsuyoshi was a person unlike he'd ever seen. Yuuko had told him that Tsuyoshi was indeed a person, but he was finding that hard to believe. The teeth were an unhealthy shade of yellow and he twitched so spasmodically that it didn't even seem like a twitch but a move all its own. Eyes watched him and they were too wide open to be normal and it almost didn't seem like he was looking at them fully, but then he was and then he wasn't again.

Doumeki, obviously slightly unnerved himself, wrapped an arm around Watanuki's shoulders.

This made Tsuyoshi laugh. "Hee! Guard dog, guard dog, guard dog, hee hee!"

"T-T-Tsuyoshi-san, are you—" He was going to ask if he was all right, but the other man jumped in with his fevered, speedy pitch and caused Watanuki's stomach to crash to the floor.

"Am I crazy crazy? Yes, yes, I am completely mad. People say I'm mad and if they say that I am mad, then I must be mad, but I don't know what madness is, so I can't say that I am mad. Are you mad? You must be mad to work for Yuuko. She'll put you in a wheel like a little rat and watch you run and run and run in place while you don't go anywhere and she laughs. She laughs, laughs, laughs!"

As Tsuyoshi laughed, he could distinctly hear that little twinge that he hadn't known what it was. Now he knew: it was definitely sounding slightly insane. Yuuko had warned him, but he hadn't thought…he had thought she meant angry!

"She wants the painting, she wants the painting, but I am bored. I don't want to let it go now."

"B-But Yuuko-san said you said—"

"Play a game, play a game, with me and I will let you have it," Tsuyoshi continued as if Watanuki hadn't tried to speak.

"What kind of game?" Doumeki asked finally and Tsuyoshi's blue eyes, the color seeming watered out, looked at him with glee.

"A game, a game, a game of guess and see. If you guess right, three times says I, I will let you have it."

"And if we lose?"

"You get no painting, silly you, silly you."

"Then we'll play."

"Goodie, goodie, I've been bored lately!" And with that, he bounded into the living room to their left.

Watanuki pulled from the protective hold to round on his friend. "You! What the hell are you doing?!" he hissed in anger, making sure to keep his voice lower, since he didn't want Tsuyoshi to come back.

"You have to get the painting. Short of stealing it, which I think would be a bad idea, this is the only way to do it."

"He's _crazy_!"

"No, no, no, not crazy! Mad! Mad! I am mad, but I am not crazy!" Watanuki blanched as he looked at Tsuyoshi in the doorway to the living room. "Crazy is crazy. Crazy is no sense. Crazy is mindless screaming. Crazy is dumb like a drone. Crazy is insane. Mad is different."

"Wh-What is mad?"

"Mad is nuts, mad is scary. Mad is normal only hidden. Madness hides in people. Madness can't be seen. Madness can't be predicted. Madness is different. There are no two madness that are the same. People _fear_ madness because it is scary. Because it is compelling. They fear madness because they don't know if it's madness or genius."

_Is it bad that what he said makes perfect sense to me? I almost…he almost sounds like he's normal right there and it sounds so plausible…it sounds so real, like it's fact. Is it real or is he just raving? Was this what he meant when he said that they don't know if it's the madness talking or genius?_

Tsuyoshi smiled that crazy smile and bounded back into the living room, leaving silence behind.

"Answer me riddles, answer me rhymes! Answer me three times!"

Watanuki wrung his hands, as he was no good at riddles. Everything Yuuko said was a riddle, for example, and he never understood _her_. Tsuyoshi had brought the painting out and set it on the table between the three of them. It was really rather pretty, of an ocean, a wave in mid crest to crash against the shore. A haze of twilight was approaching.

"What is so fragile that when you say its name you break it?"

Just saying its name? That means it couldn't be tangible, right? But if he was to consider all the supernatural things, that didn't necessarily hold true. Was there some sort of spirit like that? After all, this man Tsuyoshi had a supernatural painting and Yuuko had implied he also had something special about him, so maybe he also considered the paranormal?

"Silence."

He glared at Doumeki. "Have you ever _done_ a single riddle before, because that's—"

"Right, right!"

"Eh?"

Doumeki looked at him and shrugged. "Any temple kid will know that, since temples are generally quiet. To keep from boredom, they exchange riddles. Everyone always asks this one."

"Then, then, you cannot answer the next one! Glasses pet will be next!"

"_EH?_ You never said it was a person to person thing!"

Tsuyoshi only bounced on his tiptoes in glee. "More fun, more fun! You must answer now: Until I am measured, I am not known. Yet how you miss me, when I have flown."

Measured? He glanced uncertainly at Doumeki, but the moment he opened his mouth to give perhaps a hint, Tsuyoshi interrupted. "It is his turn, you will break the rules! Rules must be abided, must be adhered. Break the rules and you will lose!"

"He can't even help me?!" Watanuki demanded, not liking this at all. They had to get three and he was terrible at these things. He was sure that Doumeki could probably get the last, but that would still only be two.

"No, no. You must think on your own, stand on your own. Cannot rely entirely on someone else. They may not know one day and you may not think one day and then you will be dead."

Tsuyoshi had a point, at least to Watanuki. _This is terrible, terrible! Okay, no panicking. Calm down and think about this logically. You know how to measure; you're excellent at measuring. So take it apart, just like in math class. "Until I am measured, I am not known." That doesn't tell me much. "Yet how you miss me, when I have flown." Well, that means when you measure, it's gone, right?_

He flustered about on his feet as the silence filled and Tsuyoshi's eyes watched him with a steadfast attention it made him squirm. His eyes cast about, looking for information, some sort of hint. Whether it was coincidence or not, Doumeki glanced at his watch and looked bored.

_Wait…measure. What's a synonym for that? Calculate, assess, determine…gauge. It does not necessarily mean measuring as in cooking or an actual number. It could be something else entirely. Given the **kind** of riddle from before, it's unlikely that the answer would be supernatural, but perhaps…insubstantial? What's insubstantial that can be measured?_

Doumeki's motion came back to him and for whatever reason, it was like an epiphany had hit him. He just _knew_ that it meant something. Looking at his watch…!

"Time?" he suggested quietly.

"Smart, smart, smart you are! No matter how long it takes, keep thinking. You stop thinking, your mind stops working. Your mind stops working, you are dead." Tsuyoshi turned to Doumeki and smiled. "Last one, last one: What object has keys that open no locks, space but no room, and you can enter but not go in?"

He was just as glad that Doumeki got this one, since he would have had no clue. In fact, he thought he was lucky that he got the one that he did, as it seemed almost easy by comparison. This time, though, it did not seem like an insubstantial answer, since it specifically asked for an object.

The archer seemed to take far much more time than his, and he shifted on his feet. Maybe Doumeki wasn't going to get it. Maybe he wasn't as good at riddles as he thought he was. He licked his lips and glanced at the painting, then at Tsuyoshi. Oddly enough, the eyes were fixed on Doumeki, and they seemed almost…sane. The crazy touch wasn't there, not that he could see. It was as if he were concentrating just as hard, willing him to find an answer. His strange and unnerving face was expressionless.

"A keyboard," he answered at last.

That crazy grin broke the almost normal expression on Tsuyoshi's face and he gave that scary laugh he'd had when they'd first entered. "Yuuko has smart little pets. Maybe one day you'll get off the wheel and climb the walls. Maybe unlock the cage and escape. Maybe one day you'll be free."

Watanuki leaned forward to grab the painting, but when his hand touched the frame, Tsuyoshi's came out and gripped him tightly enough for him to cry out. He looked up in fear at the intensity of Tsuyoshi's stare, as they were so close now. Doumeki grabbed his shoulders and tried to pry off the hand on his wrist, but Watanuki didn't notice. He couldn't tear away his gaze from Tsuyoshi's almost compelling one.

"Madness is everywhere. I am mad, they are mad, _she_ is mad. Everyone is mad. My madness is free; my madness is seen. Theirs are not, hers is not. Be careful lest your madness be unleashed and you be like me."

Tsuyoshi leaned in too close until their lips were almost touching and he could say without a doubt that those eyes, while compelling, were so insane that they seemed normal. Sometimes the man acted normal and other times crazy. Was that what madness was? To not know the like between normal and crazy?

Just before their faces touched, lips most notably, Doumeki had yanked Watanuki away. The boy stumbled back into protective arms and the painting slammed painfully into his knee as he took it with him. It was unexpectedly heavy.

Tsuyoshi laughed, but there was a slight menacing tone to it. Suddenly he realized why mad people were to be so feared. Why they were so scary. Sometimes they could be so reasonable and yet other times, they acted as if they were about to destroy you.

He didn't realize he was shaking until Doumeki had dragged him out of the house without a word, grabbing the painting from his hand so that it didn't drag on the floor.

There had been no supernatural things there, as far as he could tell. Yuuko had explained when he'd gotten to her shop that Tsuyoshi had the ability to read minds, but that it had unhinged him after so many years. He could still read them now, she said, but that it was much like noise in his head.

Was madness contagious, he wondered, as he went to bed that night. He hoped not, and tried not to remember when he woke in the morning that he'd dreamed of that unholy light and fragile mindset of Tsuyoshi. The laugh followed him all the way to school.

** End **  



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